Bad subtitles of a pirated copy of "The Departed"

Since the "so I was watching a Chinese black market copy of The Avengers" Tumblr post was so hilarious, I thought perhaps the English subtitles of this bootleg version of The Departed might just be as amusing as well. Please be advised that the following screencaps contain major spoilers. The sentences in brackets are the actual lines in the scenes in case you're not familiar with the film.

(I don't wanna be a product of my environment.)
The Departed bootleg pirated gay subtitles

(I want my environment to be a product of me.)
The Departed bootleg pirated gay subtitles

(The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers, true guineas.)
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(That's what the niggers don't realise.)
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(You Johnny Sullivan's kid?)
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(You like bologna and cheese?)
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(Guineas from the north and down Providence try to tell me what to do.)
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(Firemen getting pussy for the first time in the history of fire or pussy.)
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(Hey, go save a kitten in a tree, you fuckin' homos.)
The Departed bootleg pirated gay subtitles

(Fuckin' firefighters are a bunch of homos.)
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(You don't need any help from me to be completely fucked.)
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(... my section?)
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(This is an elite unit.)
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(You're a psychiatrist?)
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(What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?)
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(You're no fucking cop.)
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(... but you won't be a Massachusetts State trooper.)
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(Guaran-fucking-teed).
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(May her soul, and all the other souls of the departed...)
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(You must be my cousin.)
The Departed bootleg pirated gay subtitles

(You keep on calling me Babu. It's Singh, motherfucker.)
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(If you are not being run by us...)
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 (Lookit, fuckstick.)
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(... that even know you're a cop.)
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(How about I fucking kill you, huh?!)
The Departed bootleg pirated gay subtitles

(How about I fucking kill you?!)
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(I don't know if this is how you spell 'citizens' but fuck it, you know?) Ironically, this scene is about the spelling of 'citizens' which even the subtitles here got it wrong.
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(You don't need the money. You don't need the pain in the ass and they will catch you.)
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(He's got dope coming in and I don't know when.)
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(You want those codes.)
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(Imagine that you rat fuck.)
The Departed bootleg pirated gay subtitles

The DVD doesn't play beyond this scene. You want good quality stuffs? Don't get bootlegs. Only get 'em when you wanna laugh your ass off. Anyway, hope this cured your Monday blues.
10 comments:
  1. I always find those type of subtitles a big pain.. hence will turn it off whenever i'm watching a pirated dvd :)

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  2. haha china translated are much more funnier at times...

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  3. I didn't really bought pirated dvd these days zzz dafuq lol

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  4. Haha.. started laughing at blowing and fucking parts! :P

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  5. Haha!! Yeah those subtitles are funny, but after some time, they kinda get irritating. So now, I don't buy pirated DVDs. Go for originals - nicer and more enjoyable. Or download movies from iTunes : )

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  6. LOL! poor you have to watch all these funny subtitles! =X

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  7. Sometimes, those who create subtitles do not really translate them properly. They translate it in such a way that it is funny.

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