The Host (2013) | Movie review

the host 2013 film movie poster
Release date in Malaysia
: 4 April 2013
Rated: P13 
Genre: Romance fantasy, sci-fi, thriller 
Running Time: 124 minutes 
Director: Andrew Niccol
Screenplay: Andrew Niccol (based on Stephanie Mayer’s novel)
Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Diane Kruger, Jake Abel 

Synopsis: “The Host is a story of love and sacrifice in a futuristic world with the fate of humanity at stake. Planet Earth has been taken over by peaceful aliens, known as Souls. Melanie, one of a small band of human resistance, is caught by The Seeker, a peacekeeper responsible for defending this new race from the last of the humans. After a desperate struggle, a Soul named Wanderer is surgically implanted into Melanie’s body. Melanie’s strong will convinces the reluctant Wanderer to be her ally and they set off on a dangerous search to save her family, and the men they both come to love” (Nusantara Edaran Filem / Nuffnang).

Verdict: I enjoyed this more than Twilight… ’cause it’s way more unintentionally hilarious. Once again, Stephenie Meyer wrote a school girl novel based on somebody else’s work (this time it’s the 1955 novel Body Snatchers) and lets film makers make her even more cash by adapting it into a complete joke. The Host is not as “gay” as Meyer’s more popular title but the film sure is very poorly done in almost every aspect. The first half’s pacing is so fast, it feels like a summary video of the novel. The acting performance is YouTubers standard at best and the cheesy dialogues reminded me of children’s educational computer games. The only thing the audience can learn from the movie is how girls struggle very hard inside to not be a full slut.

Second opinion: “It feels that the movie’s rushed, and yet too long” (Iris Loong).

Malaysian censorship: All kissing sequences are completely chopped off. Seriously, ALL of them. And there are like 10 or more kisses in the movie. But the scene where a dude’s head gets shot through by gun is not cut at all. Now we know why we have more violent mat rempits than pretty sluts in this country.

The car: Chrome Lotus Evora. Is the whole thing metal?

Chrome Lotus Evora The Host meme

Rating: 0.5 / 5

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]—————————————————————-

Language: Of course, the aliens speak English, even to their own kind. This language is literally out of this world.

How in the world… did this highly gullible, peaceful and physically weak extraterrestrial parasites managed to conquer Earth in the first place? They don’t have real weapons, they don’t encourage violence and they’re clearly unintelligent! Of course, this isn’t explained in the movie as well.

The stupidest scene: The alien, Wanda, is controlling the body of Melanie, who’s Jared’s girlfriend. Jared hates aliens and refuses to believe that Melanie is still alive in that body but can’t resist kissing her. Immediately after getting slapped for kissing her/them, he declares that he believes Wanda’s telling the truth ’cause only Melanie would slap him for kissing her. This contradicts the earlier flashback scene where she was already desperate to have sex with him, which he rejected (I guess Meyer’s favourite fantasy is having guys reject her when she whores herself to them). It also contradicts the fact that they already know the aliens can use the memory of the human body they’re in to fool them into believing them.

Healers: The doctors of the aliens in the movie are called “Healers”. Their job is to simply take the high tech medicine, point it at wounds, press the button to spray and the wounds would instantly be cured. Must be difficult to become a certified “Healer”.

If Stephenie Meyer was a guy

The Host Melanie Wanda still voices meme

Special thanks to Nuffnang for the invites to the local premiere.

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