Top 10 Worst Movies 2014

Ed Wood Glen Glenda

Top 10 Worst Films of 2014 (that I've seen)


Unlike previous years, I actually tried dodging movies that I thought was definitely going to be absolutely shit instead of attending every single screening I'm invited to just for the sake of reviewing them. For example, I didn't go for the screening of Legend of Hercules and Pompei 'cause they're obviously horseshit. So I didn't actually watch as many bad films this year. Either that or I've seen way too many too frequently over the years that my taste and standard have absolutely dropped. But I'd rather think my reviews have also been maturing and I've become less harsh, more constructive and less stingy with the ratings.

The local distributor of each film on the list is not mentioned last time as I think it's unfair to criticise them for releasing movies the majority want. Can you imagine not releasing Transformers 4 (Age of Extinction) here even though it's shit? The people would cry and whine for it. If we want less garbage at big screens, just stop paying for them. When there's no money to be made from shit, the distributors would stop releasing shit. But it's never going to happen when movies likeTransformers 4 could still easily top the local Box Office. Anyway, if you really want to know who the distributor was, the info is available in the reviews.

So anyway, these are the worst 2014 films I've seen. As usual, they are not judged and ranked solely based on the rating I gave previously. Production budget and experience/standards/resources of the country of the production were taken into account as well. That's why movies with 0.5/5 could be positioned slightly better than one with 2/5. On top of it all, it's a matter of opinion and everyone has their own preference. But if you liked Transformers 4, it's hard not to judge you. Just kidding.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10. OUTCAST


Outcast movie poster malaysiaDefinitely not for those who're sick of the formulaic Chinese dynasty dramas on TV. But hey, this one's with a little twist - it features two white actors (a former Jedi and a famous meme) playing cliched war-weary characters in China while everyone there speaks English. Princess (Liu Yi Fei) and prince escape from their murderous throne-hungry brother and comes across a junkie white knight (Hayden Christensen) who decides to protect them. During their journey to a place for reasons not explained, the princess quickly falls in love with their Caucasian protector seemingly right after seeing him topless. Thanks to the smart editing, Nicholas Cage's usual performance has no unfavourable effect to the film. >> Read full review

Outcast meme nicholas cage liu yi fei

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9. NEED FOR SPEED


Need For Speed movie poster malaysiaYet another a bad video game movie is in the books. Money-milkers simply taking name of the popular street-racing game franchise, slap it with a lazy plot filled with cliches and tap into other audiences by featuring the great Breaking Bad actor Aaron Paul and the former Batman Michael Keaton, both who tried very hard to engage with their performance but to no avail at all. While it may be satisfying enough for fans of expensive sport cars, none of the race sequences clearly shows why the protagonist's vehicle can suddenly catch up and overtake the one in front. So the hero just eventually wins? That's it. Is that fun? Even Hong Kong's underground street racing flicks seem to make more sense than the race scenes here. >> Read full review

Need For Speed Aaron Paul meme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8. TOKAREV / RAGE


Tokarev Rage movie poster malaysiaIf you haven't seen this one, just imagine a typical cheesy revenge action flick but slower paced with minimal action and a stupid twist at end with one too many pretentious moral messages, and it stars Nicholas Cage. Yup, what a pain to watch. Tokarev is such a bore that it had to have a different title (Rage) when it was released elsewhere. >> Read full review

tokarev rage cage movie meme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7. EARTH TO ECHO


Earth to Echo movie poster malaysiaA wasteful and probably the worst ripoff of E.T. of all time. The alien is adorably and intriguingly designed (although it sort of reminds me of Furby the toy) but has way too little screen time and poor friendship development between the characters, making it absolutely magic-less and emotionally unengaging with tiresome cliches and borrowed elements the other films. Basically an unoriginal journey that's way too short. And what's the point of the found footage format? >> Read full review

ET Earth to Echo side by side comparison

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6. THE PYRAMID


pyramid movie poster malaysiaI've only seen like maybe four horror movies in total this year and I know there were probably plenty more other terrible ones but I believe The Pyramid qualifies as a standout example to why most horror/slasher flicks suck every year (that's why I avoided most of them this year) - cheap CGI, over reliant on cliched jump scares to terrify audience, boring storyline that forces characters to unrealistically decide to step into an obviously dangerous unknown environment, bad acting, non-white characters predictably die first and the last survivor is always the "white virgin". Sadly, a lot of the general audience here still find that repetitive formula enjoyable and worthy of their hard earned money and time. By the way, none of the mummies in this pyramid moves. That's an additional disappointment to me. >> Read full review

pyramid movie meme pyramid anubis CGI movie meme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5. I, FRANKENSTEIN


i, frankenstein movie postersInitially I thought this movie was only asking to be criticised for such a stupid idea until I found out that it's actually based on a graphic novel. Here, Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight, Thank You For Smoking) tries to be the cool righteous superhero version of Frankenstein's monster but unfortunately he's simply incapable in playing the lead for presence-demanding roles such as this. It doesn't help when the story is poorly contructed with numerous plot holes, inconsistencies, cheesy dialogues and done-to-death cliches. If there's an award for the worst story-telling for a Hollywood blockbuster, this can easily be nominated. To add to its disaster, the action sequences are unimpressive and never exciting. Some involves poorly animated gargoyles that turn into ashes when killed, like a PG13 video game. I, Franklyhatedthis. >> Read full review

i, frankenstein sex meme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. LEFT BEHIND


Left Behind nicholas cage movie poster malaysiaIt's the last film with Nicholas Cage on this list, I promise. The only reason why I bothered watching yet another Cage movie was simply because it had only 2% of positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. I had to see how bad this Christian thriller is and I was disappointed that it wasn't so horrible to a point that it's laughable in every scene. But it is indeed very bad, apparently worse than the already crappy 90s adaptation of the book it's based on. Wooden acting, extremely cheesy, serious tone but unrealistic, religiously cringeworthy and worst of all, its plot vagueness cause much contradiction to the bible beliefs. No wonder why it was allowed to be released in Malaysia. I didn't watch it at the cinema so there wasn't a review for this one.

Left behind movie meme nicholas cage

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. BULLETS OVER PETALING STREET


bullets over petaling street movie posterIt probably isn't fair 'cause I bet there were probably dozens of other local garbage released this year but out of like six local productions I watched, this was the only one I really hated, and this standard of local films is a perfect example why a lot of moviegoers are afraid of giving local productions a chance. The film's concept of an actress becoming a triad leader could've definitely been more amusingly interesting if it wasn't this poorly written with complete absence of comedic creativity. Seriously, the humour is so unfunny and yet draggy that even I felt embarrassed while watching it. The setting of Petaling Street is wasted as well. The title could've been "Bullets Over Chinatown" and it still wouldn't have mattered 'cause the culture and realism are not incorporated even the slightest bit. >> Read full review

bullets over petaling street meme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2. TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION


transformers 4 movie poster malaysiaSurprised that it's not the champion this year? But it's the worst from Hollywood indeed. Boring plot overbloated with unengaging and confusing action sequences, topped with excessively repetitive same old Michael Bay bullshit. Grimlock and the Dinobots were the only reason to watch it, which are pretty cool-looking indeed, but their screen time is disappointingly limited (despite the film being almost 3 hours) and the characters are disturbingly forced into assisting Optimus Prime. Unless you're a very young kid who's still not sick of this not-so-Transformers franchise, there's no way you didn't fall asleep or at least felt sleepy while watching this. For fucks sake, if there isn't much of a story to tell, don't fucking make an action flick longer than 2 hours please. It even has a scene of a conversion just to justify that it's okay for the dude to date and fuck the school girl. Sigh, why can't they just spend like 5% of the crazy high budget to get a better screenwriter? Or just fucking reboot the franchise already without Bay and make it more faithful to the classic cartoons. >> Read full review

transformers 4 movie meme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. ICEMAN


iceman 2014 movie poster donnie yen malaysiaAlthough I was criticised by some of Donnie Yen's hardcore fans for my review on Kung Fu Jungle, I highly doubt anyone of them would disagree that Iceman is perhaps the worst movie ever led by their idol. It's a pointless, messy 3D remake of a classic Hong Kong action comedy. The original concept and story are fucked over, the narrative is patchy as hell, the humour is lame, the fight sequences aren't even as entertaining or impressive as any of Yen's recent crappy movies, and the to-be-continued ending is so abrupt that it seems as though the production had ran out of the budget before the filming was complete (according to Wikipedia, it seems that I might be right about this). I don't think there's any other film remake this year that's as utterly bad as this. I can't believe there's actually going to be a sequel to this god-awful garbage. >> Read full review

iceman donnie yen pissing urinating movie meme

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dishonourable Mentions

- Annabelle
- Into the Storm
- The Monkey King
- The Expendables 3
- A Million Ways to Die in the West
- The Interview (not released in Malaysia)

So what are the worst movies to you this year? Please do comment below, it'd be interesting to know what other bad films there were and what you think deserve to be the called the worst of the 2014 instead.

Like previous years, my list of Top 10 Best Movies of the Year will only be out during the awards season as there are way too many highly rated critically acclaimed films I've not seen yet ('cause they're not released in Malaysia, damnit!). Stay tuned and happy new year!

>> View Top 10 Worst Movies of 2013

Follow me: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Google+

3 comments:
  1. I usually read reviews on the internet before I go to cinemas so Thankfully I didn't have to watch those awful movies. Can't wait to see your Top 10 Best Films :D Anyway do you know if Malaysia cinemas will be showing The Imitation Game. Been hearing good things about it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes indeed Imitation Game has gotten praises from the Western critics and audience alike. However, I've not received any news about it releasing in Malaysia yet.

      Delete
  2. I only saw two from your list. Need for Speed I saw on TV recently. It was okay to me. But yes, looking from your angle, I saw that it is lacking. I went for transformers only because we sort off make it a point to go watch it as a family ever since the first one - and I have to agree, aside from the effects, it is terrible. I want Shea... haha

    ReplyDelete

Terms of Use, Disclaimer and Privacy Policy | Copyright © ColourlessOpinions.com. All rights reserved. | Template designed by Templateism.com Copyright © 2014

Powered by Blogger.